Bring back… Bionic Six: The League


This … er… last week’s assignment from The League of Extraordinary Bloggers really cuts to the core of what I’m all about here on the CSP…

Bring it back! What product or media property would you like to see revived, and how would you imagine it being different today.
(this week’s topic courtesy of Big J over at Nerd Rage Against the Machine)

I will use this opportunity to pitch one property I’d love to see return…

Bionic Six

Bionics... ON!!!
Bionics… ON!!!

This super-future family had an animated series run from 1987-89 for two seasons on TV. They were also fairly popular as a line of action figures. Headed up by Jack Bennett, a.k.a. technologically enhanced secret agent “Bionic-1”, the team was formed by way of an unfortunate avalanche caused by an alien spacecraft during a family vacation. Jack discovered that his wife and children were exposed to radiation and on death’s door, so to save them he had Professor Sharp enhance each of them with bionics similar to what he had. And thus the Six were formed as a super-team.

One of the cool elements of this series, aside from the awesome animation and use of bionics, were how diverse the family was. Along with Jack and his wife Helen (codenamed “Mother-1”) the Bennetts consisted of two biological children Eric (“Sport-1”) and Meg (“Rock-1”), an adopted African-American son J.D. (a.k.a. “IQ”) and a Japanese foster son Bunji (“Karate-1”). Their pet robot gorilla F.L.U.F.F.I. played the role of housekeeper/comic relief. Along with the usual role-play that took place with G.I. Joe Masters of the Universe, Transformers and Thundercats characters, kids in school each adopted a favorite member of the Six. Many liked Karate-1 because, well… martial arts in the 80’s, do you need to ask? Jocks liked Sport-1, girls chose between Mother-1 and Rock-1, some liked Bionic-1 and of course I was a big fan of IQ, who later went on to become a member of my infamous “Bro Batallion”. Together, the Bionic Six took on the likes of the villainous Dr. Scarab and his many minions: the blue-skinned femme fatale Madame-O, dim-witted brute Mechanic, the chain-wielding Chopper and walking Elmer’s glue accident Klunk.

BIONIC-SIX

If this series and toy line were to come back (as it should), I wouldn’t change much about it. I hate when remakes/reboots/rehashes change the origins of characters, so that’s out. Instead, I’d make it a more reality-based show, sort of a “Behind the Bionics” type of thing.

On this new single-camera format series, we would address these burning questions about the Bennett family:
How have the bionics caused friction in the bedroom between Bionic-1 and Mother-1?
Is there such a thing as bionic menopause?
Why is Bionic-1 downloading Viagra software?
When both Sport-1 and Karate-1 take a liking to MMA, which one will impress Dana White enough to be brought in as the next UFC headliner?
What happens when IQ’s origins are leaked to TMZ just as he has taken home the weekly grand prize on Jeopardy?
Will the Bennetts adopt again, and what race will this next child be?

Questions like these and more need answers! So yeah, tune in to Behind the Bionics on Syfy (for lack of a better channel) and download the free BtB app so you can tweet with F.L.U.F.F.I. while the show airs live!

Just for more fun, here’s another look at the Bionic Six’s transformation…

As penance for this being late, I will put up another Bring back… post later today. Trust me, you’ll want to see what lies within.. stay tuned…

This week’s post is This post is for an assignment for The League of Extraordinary Bloggers , an elite cadre of highly trained… look, we are bloggers who write awesome stuff weekly!

bringitback

Check out these other posts this week from around The League!

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9 Comments Add yours

  1. Lamar the Revenger says:

    Seriously. THIS MUST HAPPEN.

  2. davenappy says:

    I loved this show, and also how diverse it was. I’d be happy to see an upgrade in the bionics capabilities. I wonder who has the license now, because this definitely needs to be rebooted.

  3. Kevin Hellions says:

    I loved the metal action figures with the weight of a tank. That hurt like hell to throw at your siblings.

  4. HowardtheDeck says:

    I’ve somehow never seen this show but you sold me.

  5. this is actually one of the awesome ’80s properties i referenced [so very briefly] in my own League post. loved it when it was originally airing and loved it still when The Sci-Fi Channel [long before SyFy] used to show it in the mornings with G1 Transformers and The New Adventures of Gigantor.

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